Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
