eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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