Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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