his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
