It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
