Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
