I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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