That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
