Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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