Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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