Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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