Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize