The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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