I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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