We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
