I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
