left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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