Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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