We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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