do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This is the high leading the old right now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
2020 sucks, I want a refund
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
