I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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