i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She's the barista slut.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
