If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
