A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
