i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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