two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
