ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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