last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
