i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize