it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
