what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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