Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
