I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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