Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize