P.S. I can't hear my feet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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