Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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