k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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