it wasn't lemon gatorade
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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