i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
