I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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