Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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