I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
