Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
