no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
