ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
