Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
