Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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