she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize