In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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