dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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