So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize