I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
