i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
