I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
