Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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