apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
