yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
