3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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