That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
