dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
