direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
