Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
