I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
