Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
