turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
