I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
