i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize