so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
