At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Are we still banned from the library?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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