how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize