wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
40s are totally the cure
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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