I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
