Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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