Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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