Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
