i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
